FEED ME!

Every two weeks, MG screams, "FEED ME!" So, today and Monday MG and I will go for a "feeding" aka IVIG treatment. IVIG is intravenous immunoglobulin. Basically it is my time to bond with MG. He is so happy because he gets my undivided attention for 2 complete days. We go to the infusion clinic about 9:00 a.m. and spend the next 6.5 - 7 hours bonding. I get the infusion through a port that is implanted under the skin in my chest. It is so much better than the first 2 that I had because they were both outside the skin and were a total pain! Except for my Bride of Frankenstein scars I hardly think about it being there anymore.

It did not start out that way, however. Getting this port was one of the most difficult things MG brought into my life. My veins have never been that great and getting blood drawn has always been torture for me. My veins were totally blown from using them for IVIG and plasmapheresis (another huge story for another day) from December until August when I got my port. I cried every week when I went to the infusion clinic and I had to be stuck for my IVIG treatment. My favorite IVIG nurse, Sandy, had one of her "I am your friend and I care about you a lot" talks. Sandy had several of those with me the first two years after my diagnosis. I felt so much fear at having the port. It was not so much fear of having the surgery but it was the fear of feeling that if I got the port that I lost. MG won. It was a sad and hopeless feeling.

The variety of emotions that I have experienced in the past almost 7 years of living with MG can be overwhelming. They range from sadness and depression to profound loneliness and uncertainty. There have been moments of deep loss and grief and moments of total contentment knowing that I am resting in the palm of God's hand. Now even in the midst of MG's temper tantrum, I can honestly say I have never felt more contentment. “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I want to say a huge THANK YOU to Kate for the cute new dragons between my posts. They make me smile! She is learning so much about blogging and blog design. She ROCKS! So if you need a blog design, she is the creative talent to design one for you.