Plan B

Yesterday I went back to see Dr. K. It was an emotional visit for me. I am not sure he knew what to think. I am positive that I have never sat in his office and cried almost the entire time I was there. I think I am lucky he didn't call in the guys in white suits with straps and have me carried away. He is kind and he listened. After talking about all of the events of the past few months, the ups and downs and the trial and error he has decided that I need to go for a second opinion. So he is making a referral to a research hospital about 4 hours from where I live. He also wants me to think about changing (AGAIN) the IVIG that I am taking now. He said that he thinks it may be up to 1 year and possibly as much as 2 years before the IVIG that works for me is back on the market. He doesn't think we can wait that long and wants to make some changes now. He also wants me to consider taking an immuno suppressant drug. We discussed the main reason that I have not been taking it is because the tumor on my thymus gland was "actively benign" (not flaming malignant but some of the fingers had cancer cells in them). I am not going to take any medications before I go to the research hospital. I did talk to the pharmacist today and after the infusion that is coming up he will order a different IVIG product for me to try.

I am feeling part sad and part frustrated. I feel some apprehension about the referral. I want to be excited and hopeful that there is something new and helpful for me. I am realistic enough not to get my hopes up. So, here is another chapter in my living with MG story. I am

Today I am singing Jeremy Camp's There Will Be a Day.

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

[Chorus]
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we`ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we`ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you`re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you`ve walked out all alone

[Chorus]

Troubled soul don`t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that`s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life`s sting

I can`t wait until that day where the very one I`ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I`ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing