Poverty of Purpose

A sign at a local church said "Poverty of purpose is worse than poverty of purse." I have thought about that a lot since I read it on Monday. It made such an impact on me that I pulled into the parking lot of the church and read it several times. God has definitely made some big changes in my life in the past 7 years. I think He began to whisper for me to make changes 3 years earlier than that. I remember sitting in a local restaurant with a friend almost 10 years ago and saying to her that I thought God was asking me to do something else. We talked about how important it was for me to listen to God. At the same time, we were doing a study on missions at church. One night I felt so moved by the Holy Spirit. The pastor asked us to take a quiet moment in the middle of the service and ask God what He would have us to do. I remember getting on my knees that night and saying to God that I gave up. I was not going to fight with Him and that He won. If He wanted me to go to the end of the earth to work for Him I would go. I would go on the mission field for Him wherever He wanted. It was one of those times when total peace came over me. I felt complete contentment. I have been struggling in the past few days with both physical and emotional exhaustion. I may not have the physical energy that I had 7 years ago but today I know that I have more spiritual energy than I have ever had in my life. Thank you, Lord!

While I may not understand why I got sick or why I am currently struggling I know that it is not my job to be in charge. And that is a hard thing to admit and live for me. Remember, I am the independent woman. I am the one who wants to be in charge! I can handle things. But, I don't see the entire picture. I don't know the whole story. I know how my story ends but I don't know what is written on the pages for me in the chapters between now and the end. God is teaching me that He is in control and that He can handle it without my help. "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8